They Paved Paradise (And Put Up A Monsterous Monlithic Sacrifice To Their Demonic Gods)


With the blighted relic destroyed and the final fane deactivated, clearing out the remainder of the cave was a relatively simple matter. The few remaining evil creatures lurking in the shadows were quickly rooted out by Uther’s ability to sense evil and dispatched by the party.

The cave’s last malevolent inhabitants killed, the group of adventurers cleared a space near the cave’s exit and set camp for the night.

“There’s certainly a familiarity being down here, isn’t there my friends,” joked Haradrim as he cast a protective ward over the trapdoor some fifty feet above them. “Squatting underground in some dank cave, with naught but the moss for company. And sleeping on rock will be a change from sleeping in dirt.” He unfurled his bedroll on a likely patch of ground. “I only wish there was such a thing as a pillow tree.”

“Nature will provide, as she always does,” replied Grul. He summoned a fragment of power to warp the wood of the trapdoor, effectively locking and jamming it against intruders. Nodding with satisfaction, he immediately found the softest place to rest and lay down.

Huge came over to where Vampensh was talking quietly with Tanya over his spellbook.

“Hey Vampensh, you wanna give me a couple bits o’ parchment?”

“I don’t see why not.” The young mage looked quizzical, but handed over a sheaf.

Silently making his way back to his bedroll, Huge set the papers down and, with the slow, methodical approach of someone undertaking an unfamiliar task, began to write.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

To my old companyn Perrin,

After a long time since leavin our last group of adventuras and you too of corse I thought I woold send ya a quick note to let ya know what I bine doin.

Trainin with dem fighters was good and I even learnt ta rite pretty good. They also taght me a great fighting trick so now I can kill more fellas in one smack (means more teef for mi necklace).

So I met up with some uvver (I don’t fink I spellt that write) adventuras a bit different to the last lot, witch I will tell you about.

Theres a fancy boy fighter – ar paladin I mean. Hes a bit goody good and has all these rules and stuff but can fight good sometimes and seems to always know when somfin bad is just around the corner. He sometimes makes imself a bit fancy and smells like flowers half the time witch is weerd coz I dont fink goblins care much wot you smell like. He fixes me up sometimes if I get urt.

Thers another goddy good fella too but even dogh he has a huge bag of swords he aint much good with them. I seen him drop em pretty often too. But he does have some weerd power over zombies and stuff like that. He just waves is hand and they cruble away or just run off. Hes also good at fixing me up if I get urt. I get urt a lot coz none of de others can fight reel good so I do lotsa fightin.

I have a funny friend who reminds a bit of dat rogue fella I killed by mistake once. You remember Garrik I fink is name was. Anyhow this fella is all a bit of a nature boy a bit like me. He gets on good with animals and trees – yeah thats right trees. He can turn imself ito all sortsa animals when he wants but I fink his favrit is a shark. He fixes me up when I get urt sometimes too.

Weev gotta fief fella wiff us in the group but he aint just a fief he can use that weirdo magic stuff too. As you know I don’t like magic much but if it helps us out I can let em do it. Some of their stuff helps me smash stuff easy too so im getting to aprec apprek like some of the stuff they do. Eez pretty good with da bow too dis fella – nelly as good as me.

And last derz a really big time magic fella. He can do lotsa spells that really hurt the uverrs that we are fightin though I fink I could just smash em with my axe. Dis fella don’t fight real good but he is funny and it makes me lagh watchin im ridin a orse coz he looks like hes gunna fall off any minit. When the fightin gets goin he likes ta stand behind me all da time. He tells me its so he can use magic to make me fight betta but I reckon he just hides.

The godly boy likes a good ale and so does the rogue. The paladin has a beer sometimes and the magic fella and tree fella can have one every now and den. They aint up to it dogh coz they can only handle a cuppla drinks before day start bein silly. They aint like dat dwarf runi – he could keep up wiv me.

Oh I ment to tell ya I got bit by this fing the uvver day – a vampire I fink the godly fella called it. Deez marks on my neck wont go away and I keep wakin up after havin some funny vizson in my sleep.

Anyway my writn is pretty good now and I might send ya anover note soon.

Datz it for now.




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